- the weight of performing a version of yourself...
Performing the approved version of yourself is a double-edged sword. On one hand it's a vital survival skill in an environment where your survival growing up is dependent on approval of authority figures. On the other hand, you can lose yourself in the performance. Or not even know who you are without the people pleasing.
So, the idea of stopping can be anxiety-provoking.
The first step is always awareness. Recognizing what you're doing and the impact it's having on your life. No judgement. Just observing what's happening like a security camera on the wall.
Steal away Jamie! I definitely don't have the copyright to that turn of phrase and I probably picked it up off someone else who I can't give credit to 😅
Quietly devastating. For me, especially this part:
"Incrementally. In ten thousand small surrenders, each one reasonable, each one barely noticeable, each one chipping away at something essential." It's the most minimal of repositionings that accumulate over years until we're not sure who we are anymore.
The hopeful part is that it can be turned around incrementally too.
- the weight of performing a version of yourself...
Performing the approved version of yourself is a double-edged sword. On one hand it's a vital survival skill in an environment where your survival growing up is dependent on approval of authority figures. On the other hand, you can lose yourself in the performance. Or not even know who you are without the people pleasing.
So, the idea of stopping can be anxiety-provoking.
The first step is always awareness. Recognizing what you're doing and the impact it's having on your life. No judgement. Just observing what's happening like a security camera on the wall.
Robert — yes, exactly this.
The performance becomes so automatic that stopping feels like freefall.
Awareness without judgment is the only way in. The camera on the wall. Just watching.
Steal away Jamie! I definitely don't have the copyright to that turn of phrase and I probably picked it up off someone else who I can't give credit to 😅
Quietly devastating. For me, especially this part:
"Incrementally. In ten thousand small surrenders, each one reasonable, each one barely noticeable, each one chipping away at something essential." It's the most minimal of repositionings that accumulate over years until we're not sure who we are anymore.
The hopeful part is that it can be turned around incrementally too.
Quietly devastating names what I experienced in such a succinct way, I appreciate this Eimear, and I may steal that for a future article title 😀